Wednesday, May 02, 2007 @ 8:20 PM

Sorry guys...

ok..
i just realised...
the lack of sleep has made me rather irritable...
with most of my brain not operating properly...
i seem to have annoyed many people today....
sorry sam...
it so seems that i have said something that i shouldnt say and resulted in insulting you...
i am apologetic for shooting my mouth off recklessly...

maybe...
just maybe...
i should just keep quiet for a moment...
quietly, silently...
seep back into the darkness where i used to belong...
i am sorry...
but it seems like that is the only choice i have now...
for the moment...
coming out of the darkness doesnt seem like a very good choice...
it seems that i am still uncomfortable with sharing my problems with someone else...
so far...
there is only you Mrs Chua...
you are my sole pillar of strength for my secondary sch years...
for now...
i stand alone...
in this strange new world i see before my eyes...
i dont know how long i can keep this facade...
i might breakdown really soon...
i need to talk to someone...
someone who understands...
someone who is able to give me spiritual strength...

i wanna thank cheryl, mathilda and sam...
they are there when i needed support...
although...
it seems that i have turned them down and disappointed them time and time again...
sorry guys....
apparently, i cannot be saved already...
i have walked down that road to my demise...
can i turn back?
can i go back to the beginning and start things all over again?

pity...
i do not know what is self consolation...
i cant go " tml will be a better day, so cheer up"
all my mind goes is "well, you screwed up today, you irritated everyone with your stupid complaints"
stop complaining...
stop whining...
stop making a fool out of yourself...

i might have a mental problem...
people tell me..
from the way my blog sounds and how i am in person is like 2 different persons...
i may have split personalities...
maybe 2 or 3...
maybe more...
you'll never know...

ZY

Shiki