Friday, March 31, 2006 @ 7:29 PM

Haiz...

okok..so i am updating now..
was abit busy the past few days...

had the annual cross country today...
was initially planning to walk...
until mr ang told me to enjoy the last time i am doing this with the school...
okok..
so i ran in the end...
was supposed to run wif zhihao and weiheng...
dunnoe y they gave up halfway..
ended up running alone..
anyway i had my mp3...
my pouch was loose...
had to hold onto it while running....
while running...
familiar faces surfaced...
well the be specific, the SJ gals from my class...
namely may, evonne, jac and joanna...
i wanted to stop...
but my shoes were forcing me to move on...
seems like it wants me to go on running...
and head for the finish line...
so i strived on...
and sure enough...
i finished 49th place...

enough about the cross country...
now to clear my thoughts...
its been a sort of great week...
my birthday...
well...
i am starting to resent that day...
at least my schoolmates remembered...
i am satisfied le...
however, i feel that i dont feel like a part of the class...
its like i dun belong there...
to me..
it seems like i am in a seperate world from the others...
maybe i am better off alone...
maybe i should just keep everything to myself...
i read up in a book recently...
everyone has a self-defence mechanism...
when it sets off, that person will keep everything to himself...
when that happens, the person will trust no one...
no one at all...
i suppose mine has triggered already...
to me i would rather keep everything to myself..
i feel that i would hurt no one including myself when i do so...
maybe i am just too worked up..
maybe its just me...
maybe... just maybe...

if i gave u only 5 mins...
to tell me every single person that u love...
would i be mentioned?
am i important?
what if i just died tomorrow?
will u remember me?
will u care?

sometimes i just wanna step off and end everything...
everything thats bothering me...

Shiki